Wednesday, February 2, 2011

So I was waiting for some fish and chips and I was reading this old zoo magazine that they had there. I can't remember what but it had a really interesting article. There was this old maybe 30 year old guy there too. He had grey stubble, but it kinda suited him. Everytime I looked up he tried to catch my eye. I pretended not to notice. Finally he made this noise, like a little squawk. I looked up surprised and he was grinning at me. He told me that I was hot. That I looked like the girl on the cover (which is a lie because she had black hair - mine is brown with tips). He then told me that he was 'on the roids.' I asked him if it shrunk his balls.

He said that it doesn't, that its a lie. After all what do roids do? They build musicles. What's the biggest muscle on the body? The cock. So provided you exercise it and here he gave me this sleazy look as if to say, you know what I mean, it'll get bigger. I asked if it had and he said that he'd only just started. But anyway when your thighs and body gets bigger sometimes it looks like your cock is smaller. Anyway he then got up to get his order, leaving me alone with the fish and chip guy...Oh wait, I gotta go. I'll let you know what happened tomorroew. Sorry to tease.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Living the Dream 2011

Well yes at the XMAs party this sleazy Swedish guy said I had a nice ass and a smiled back at him and told him that he would never get anywhere near it. I hear that later that night he ended up fucking Denise, the deaf chick. Maybe he signed something to her about her ass. What a sleazebag. He thinks he's a player having sex with all the fat slags at work but anyone with any self esteem will work him out in a second. No matter how drunk you are. I've seen the way he looks at me and it creeps me out. I don't care that he's assistant manager. It's only because his uncle owns the company. I teased him a bit earlier on, told him I wasn't getting any from my boyfriend just to watch him pant. I admit I was pretty pissed but I stopped drinking pretty early. And it was fun to mess with him. When Mary came round with acid I only took half and it straightened me up. After that I stopped drinking.

Let me ask you this. Should deaf loose bitches get shitfaced at work parties. It was pretty funny, she was hanging off him, giving him massages, pulling all the moves. Or that's what Jeff said. I left early. He was one of the last to leave.

Anyway somehow it got out and now everyone knows. So as I set here in my cubicle I can see Denise and her eyes are all puffy. she said she's got an allergy but she keeps going to the toilet. For sure to cry. Now everyone knows she's loose.

I kinda feel sorry for her because I don't think she gets much action, but still even she should know to stay away from the Swedish. Today denise took lunch at her desk. I think I should tell her no one gives a shit. Maybe tomorrow. Fuck he's ugly. And short. It would be like fucking a troll. I don't think I could get that drunk.